Daily Archives: August 19, 2011

A Letter to Porsche

Dear Porsche,

It has recently come to our attention that you have decided to make your current 4.8-liter twin-turbo V8 even more powerful in with the release of the 2012 Panamera Turbo S.  Although on paper you may thing that increasing the horsepower of the engine to 550 and the torque to 553 is a good idea.  We are concerned that this may too much power for the average 4 door luxury saloon driver.  We are also looking into filing a legal suit to prevent all future Turbo S drivers from ever using the overboost function that would increase the engines torque to an amazing 590 lb-ft.

We were are currently fact checking the claim that you made in your press release when you stated that the car could accelerate from  0-100 km/h in 3.6 seconds.  As our own internal research is indicating that the 2011 Panamaera Turbo could achieve this chore in 3.3 seconds when equipped with the seven-speed dual clutch PDK automatic transmission.  We feel that we should inform you that underestimating the performance numbers of your new cars will only discredit you in the auto industry resulting in an unsatisfied customer base.  To clear this issue we would offer the use of our 2 year old testing facility located adjacent to the Nurburgring.  The press release also indicated that the Turbo S has been able to maintain its fuel consumption rating of 11.3 liter/100 km, so we are sure you’ll be able to make 325km trip from Stuttgart with at least half a tank of petrol left.

There are countless items that have been improved on the newest Panamaera and we would strongly caution bringing such an amazing car to market.  One item that we were very pleased about when viewing the press photos was that the rear end of the car was not redesigned.  It’s refreshing to see a design team who knows which lines add to its vehicles spectacular beauty and just leave them alone.  In the past your company has been accused of being too focused on the mechanical bits forgetting that consumers are also looking for a visually stunning exterior.   But this time you have a winner ;-)

Sincerely Yours,

The Aston Martin Rapide Design Team

P.S. You can Kiss Our Trunk Lids :-P


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